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Mental Illness

Journal Entry: Wed Aug 13, 2014, 12:51 AM


I don't know the statistics of how many people on the planet have mental illness in its various forms.. I do know how it has affected me and those around me.
As a kid growing up in a home that most days was the equivalent of walk softly around land mines…mental and physical abuse was there. I had most of this locked in a buried box somewhere in my brain until I was about 24. That was when I had my first mental breakdown. I was taking painkillers to help me sleep and to get through the day, I would sometimes drink alcohol when I was around others ( excessive amounts one particular night that turned bad enough that I may never get into the details here yet). When I got home, I went to talk to a shrink fro the first time. THe first breakdown was my first time I allowed all of the traumas of my childhood and teenage years to be told. the first of many memories that turned into a never ending tidal wave. My mental levee broke, that barrier was holding back all of the early worst things that had happened to me.  I told a Padre some of it, but I never told him what trigger it all to come flood back. I was terrified of acknowledging it anyone.. including myself.
After I left the Army, I needed to find something that would help me understand what was wrong with me.  That was 1996. I have been in therapy on and off ever since. It was about 2006 that was when I started finding out what some of my mental illnesses were.. yes apparently a person can have more than one. My main one is PTSD. The others I will talk about later. This is a lot for me to admit to and I feel fragile enough right now.

The big problem with most mental illnesses is that there is sometimes a risk of suicide. I having been battling it for almost two decades now. I am grateful to the few people I kept around me who didn't judge me or force their opinions of how I should deal with it all. They did their best.

I have been reading most of what has been said about Robin Williams the past couple of days. I didn't know him but his death broke my heart. I grew up watching his tv shows and movies and some of his standup. I will miss him. Not many helped me laugh in my life ( I am grateful to those who have) and he is one of the few  people I wish I had met. 
I read some of the comments about Robin Williams.. most of them were nice but the some were nasty. the nasty ones were condemning Mr. Williams for his suicide. Shame on them for their lack of empathy and lack of understanding of how mental illness takes away hope and tosses you into a dark abyss. Some can find their way out again. how we deal with mental illness and how it deeply affects those who deal with it inside their brains everyday and every night. 
So if you know someone who is going through their own personal hell, be a good listener, if they want advice, give it gently and if you want to do more.. don't push. No you don't have to walk on eggshells around most of us. just remember that we have our limits, some of us have our routines, just remember that something may happen to you one day that causes some form of mental illness and you will be glad that you have people around you who know what it is like and will understand. 

We Miss you Robin Williams. thank you for helping us laugh, and smile… this world needed it badly and your work will hopefully continue doing that for generations to come.  :rose: :rose: :hug: Tears 


  • Mood: Miserable
  • Listening to: classical
  • Reading: extinction machine by Jonathan Maberry
  • Drinking: water

deviantID

arwenpandora
shelly pardy
Artist | Professional | Traditional Art
Canada
First I want to thank :iconthenavigator: for letting me use one of artworks. GO cheek out his work thenavigator.deviantart.com/ga… of non fella work and his :iconfella-avitars: work :glomp:

And what the hell do you want to know about me.. it was an ugly start that took the first 27 years of my life to finally have a much deserved nervous breakdown and now at 38 I am stabilizing my jitters in a theorpuktic professional manner..

Current Age: 40, deviantWEAR sizing preference: Xlarge, Favourite photographer: see artists, Operating System: my electronic paperweight, Shell of choice: the one I go into when I don't feel like being social, Skin of choice: perferably my own, Personal Quote: Capt. Malcolm Reynolds: Dear Buddha, please bring me a pony and a little plastic rocket...
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:iconluceene-k:
luceene-k Featured By Owner 4 days ago  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
thanks so much for the fav + watch! :D
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:iconilko94:
Ilko94 Featured By Owner 5 days ago  Hobbyist General Artist
Thanks a lot for faving my work! ;)
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:iconssecond-heartbeat:
Ssecond-Heartbeat Featured By Owner Aug 14, 2014  New member Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Thank you for the fave ^-^
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:iconarwenpandora:
arwenpandora Featured By Owner Sep 15, 2014  Professional Traditional Artist
you're welcome :)
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:iconevryrosehasitsthorns:
evryrosehasitsthorns Featured By Owner Aug 13, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Welcome to Invisible--Scars. =] And wonderful art you have, by the way.
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:iconarwenpandora:
arwenpandora Featured By Owner Sep 15, 2014  Professional Traditional Artist
thank you for letting me in the group and and thank you for the compliment :hug:
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:iconevryrosehasitsthorns:
evryrosehasitsthorns Featured By Owner Sep 15, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Most certainly. =]
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:iconremonberkers:
RemonBerkers Featured By Owner Apr 27, 2014  Professional Photographer
here is my new profile :) i,m actually quite alot in canada. but its hard since my gf lives there, but work and getting in canada etc
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:icongwasanee:
Gwasanee Featured By Owner Jan 1, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist

Thank you for your pleasant comments and your kind support in 2013! I am very happy to be a part of such a great community. I wish you a happy new year! Heart


Take care and be always creative,
Gwas 

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:iconbeachrose:
BeachRose Featured By Owner Dec 24, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Welcome to :iconseashepherdfans:
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:iconbeachrose:
BeachRose Featured By Owner Dec 16, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Want Paul Watson pic for my group.
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:iconkoudelkaw:
KoudelkaW Featured By Owner Nov 6, 2013
:woohoo: :party: :iconcakelickplz: !!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY !!! :iconcakelickplz: :party: :woohoo:

On behalf of the *birthdays team, I sincerely apologize that your greeting has arrived late this year.

We hope you had an awesome day with lots of birthday fun, gifts, happiness and most definitely, lots of cake! Here's to another year!

Many well wishes and love from your friendly birthdays team :love:

---
Birthdays Team
This birthday greeting was brought to you by: ~KoudelkaW
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:iconarwenpandora:
arwenpandora Featured By Owner Nov 7, 2013  Professional Traditional Artist
thank you very much :shrug: :hug:
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:icontaffytamuttonfudge:
TaffytaMuttonfudge Featured By Owner Nov 5, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
:iconnyan1divideplz::iconnyan1divideplz::iconnyan1divideplz::iconnyan1divideplz::iconnyan1divideplz::iconnyan1divideplz::iconnyan1divideplz::iconnyan1divideplz::iconnyan1divideplz::iconnyan1divideplz::iconnyan1divideplz:
:iconhappyblueplz:    :iconpinkiepiecakeplz:  :iconrainbow-hplz: :iconrainbow-aplz: :iconrainbow-pplz: :iconrainbow-pplz: :iconrainbow-yplz:  :iconpinkiepiecakeplz:   :iconhappyblueplz:
:party: :iconrainbow-bplz: :iconrainbow-iplz: :iconrainbow-rplz: :iconrainbow-tplz: :iconrainbow-hplz: :iconrainbow-dplz: :iconrainbow-aplz: :iconrainbow-yplz: :party:
:iconhappybirthdaysignplz: :iconbummy2::iconbummy3::iconbummy1::iconbummy2::iconbummy3::iconbummy1::iconbummy2::iconbummy3::iconbummy1: :iconhappybirthday2plz:
:iconnyan1divideplz::iconnyan1divideplz::iconnyan1divideplz::iconnyan1divideplz::iconnyan1divideplz::iconnyan1divideplz::iconnyan1divideplz::iconnyan1divideplz::iconnyan1divideplz::iconnyan1divideplz::iconnyan1divideplz:
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:iconarwenpandora:
arwenpandora Featured By Owner Nov 5, 2013  Professional Traditional Artist
Holy Shit!!:jawdrop: you made my eyes rotate… :wow: thank you very much for this. :) :glomp:
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:iconmerri5:
merri5 Featured By Owner Nov 5, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Happy Bday!! :party:
I wish you all the happiness in the world and keep being amazing! :heart:
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:iconarwenpandora:
arwenpandora Featured By Owner Nov 5, 2013  Professional Traditional Artist
thank you M'lady :hug:
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:icongwasanee:
Gwasanee Featured By Owner Nov 5, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Happy Birthday to you :sing:
Wish you a wonderful day! :heart:
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:iconarwenpandora:
arwenpandora Featured By Owner Nov 5, 2013  Professional Traditional Artist
thank you M'Lady. :hug:
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:iconcaddman:
caddman Featured By Owner Nov 4, 2013  Professional General Artist
...I hear its your birthday and want to to wish you...to Have a great one...:iconcakelickplz::party:
:iconchickendanceplz::love::iconsomehugsplz:
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:iconarwenpandora:
arwenpandora Featured By Owner Nov 5, 2013  Professional Traditional Artist
thanks Caddman  :hug: :bow:
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:iconcaddman:
caddman Featured By Owner Nov 8, 2013  Professional General Artist
...Most welcome and my pleasure  My Friend   ...

:iconheartdanceplz:
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:icongwasanee:
Gwasanee Featured By Owner Oct 31, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist

:bulletorange: HAPPY HALLOWEEN :bulletorange:
         

I wish you a spooky night!

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:iconarwenpandora:
arwenpandora Featured By Owner Nov 1, 2013  Professional Traditional Artist
:hug: thanks by :)
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:iconfallparachute:
fallparachute Featured By Owner Oct 21, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
I always loved looking through your gallery :) my gifted Aunt!
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